Walking around the corner and into the lobby at three in the morning lost in thought and peddling a mop bucket my eyes raised to the front counter in indifference. A man, looking to be in his mid 40's, stood in a pink dress that had frizzle laces around the cuffs. A wide brim hat jutted out over his massive frame resembling an umbrella or a belt tire that was a little too crude and worn to be feminine. The shock at seeing such a masculine proud man in a cheap skanky dress broke my heart. As well as creeped me out.

Dropping my mop on the floor in surprise and picking up my face that had temporarily fallen off I confidently strode over to the desk.

"I'm sorry," I began to say but was confused on whether sir or mam was appropriate. "Can I help you?"

"I need a room," he said in a gruff powerful voice.

"Sure thing," I said bringing up the registry. "Can I get your last name?"

"Hurgan," he said curtly.

"And your first name?"

"Amanda."

Suddenly I had to direct all of my concentration on suppressing a smile. A ten second pause of silence passed while I tried to maintain composure.

"Okay," I said getting back to the job, "can I get your phone number Amanda?"

All of the information was acquired and stored and Amanda received her room key for the night. All was well as I returned to the neglected mop bucket. John Tesh was on the radio as I mopped and when slapping the head onto the floor I would imagine his face, which I had never seen, imprinted on the tiles.

"Here's a statistic for you John," I said jabbing his nose. "100% of the people in this lobby fuckin' hate you! Why do you keep giving us statistics and studies all the time anyway? You want to help people John is that it?" He didn't answer. For once Tesh wasn't talking.

"Answer me ************! Do you know how crazy you drive me all night with your 80%'s and ways to live longer? Well it looks like a 92% chance that John Tesh will be killed by a mop in the next five minutes. How do you like those stats JT!? You mind washing survey driveling addict!"

As I pummeled John Tesh with the mop a low throaty cough drew me out of my psychosis. Looking over at the desk where Amanda stood caressing her thick biceps I once again dropped the mop in shock.

"I'm sorry about that," I said coming around to the desk. "I just hate that guy you know?" Amanda stared with unease twirling her sleeve with her right index finger.

"I have a cat," she grumbled.

"I'm sorry you what?" I asked leaning in closer. She recoiled a bit as if I was some kind of threat.

"I have a cat."

Looking up into her tall frame I replied, "that's fine. We just need to add on an extra $10 fee." She handed me her credit card once again. I swiped it, returned it, and grabbed the printing receipt.

"You just need to sign here," I said handing over the pen. She hesitantly grabbed it from my hand and signed. As she began to return it my hand came a bit too close to connecting with hers. Scared and possibly a little disgusted she dropped the pen causing it to ricochet off the counter and onto the floor.

"Sorry," she mumbled looking down. "I have to go get my cat."

While Amanda was getting her cat vile thoughts of transvestite rejection were circling around my head. Here I was just doing my job and this, this WO-MAN was acting as if I was the freak! Granted the mop thing had been weird but come on! He was wearing a dress! A man who looked like a burly farmer with red leather skin was wearing a pink dress and sporting either a fake pair of breasts or naturally grown chest fat. And I was the freak? Did he even still have his dick? The sliding doors opened and in came Amanda passing the front desk without even giving me a curteous nod.

"Excuse me," I yelled coming around the corner after her. Wait did she just flinch? "Excuse me but was there something wrong? You seem to be displeased with the service. The service being me."

"No everything was fine," she shifted her head from left to right uncomfortably.

"Really?" I asked tilting my head. "Because you can tell me if something was wrong."

"You just," she began.

"What? I just what? Am too energetic?"

"No, well yeah but that's not it." She shuffled her foot before deciding to just spit it out. "I don't think you're all there. You've got some problems from what I've seen." We stood there for a brief moment as I drowned in irony.

"But, but, you're a man in a dress!" I stammered searching for air.

"That has nothing to do with this." She said pushing the elevator button. "I can see it in your eyes."

"You can see what?" I asked intensly leaning up into the giant woman's face.

"Madness." She said as the elevator doors opened. Stepping inside she hit her floor and looked away. Reaching my hand in to stop the doors I took a step forward closing the distance between us.

"Can I touch your cat?" I asked with wild excitement.

"No."

Amanda's mammoth arm shoved itself into my chest propelling me against the wall. "Get out of here you freak." The giant transvestite said as the doors closed.

Splayed out on the floor contemplating the recent events I stood up only to hear the faint voice of John Tesh filling the lobby. "I have to mop." I said to the empty room.