Jacob Francis entered the Portoshit and was immediately hit with the odor of human feces.He felt a sudden urge to puke but he mastered himself. He would have walked home but he was too tired to walk even the short distance home due to chronic laziness. Now the urge to go was too strong; he couldn't wait. So he dropped his shorts and sat down.

"At least the seat is clean," he said aloud and then relaxed.

Meanwhile Jack,Rick,CJ, Martin, and Dustin approached the Portoshit silently with the intensity of DMX in a drive-by. They had quickly devised a plan then approached the Portoshit silently. Jack has suggested they push from behind, but that had been discounted as too cruel since it blocked off the only exit. They quietly lined up on the left of the Portoshit and then with one mighty shove...it toppled over.

Jacob stiffened as he thought he heard voices outside. He listened intently. Silence-then all hell broke loose! The Portoshit fell over and Jacob was covered in human excrement. The smell and taste overpowered him and he threw up all over the place. In his mind, the two minutes he floundered in the Portoshit seemed like hours.Dizzy and covered in filth, he managed to find the exit though he could not tell up from down. He stumbled out into the bright light and wiped his eyes so he could see.

He could see people running toward him. Suddenly overcome with nausea, he bent over and wretched all over the grass.

"Yeah you better run you cocksuckers!" Rick yelled in the direction of the road.

He and the others reached Jacob and stopped abruptly.

"Did you see the bastards responsible?" asked Martin loudly.

"I didn't turn around until the Portoshit fell over, and by then they had jumped back into the car," Jack replied just as loud.

"Yeah we would have kicked their asses," boasted CJ,"I would have destroyed them Kimbo-style!"

"I would have given them a Kermit Washington-esque uppercut!" laughed Dustin.

"Yeah we would have torn those ************* apart!" yelled Jack as Martin filled the air with punches and added a 360 kick.

"GUYS!" Rick yelled.

"Oh yeah," Jack remembered,"Let's walk him home."

They walked Jacob home all the while telling him how they would find the imaginary douchebags and beat the **** out of them.

 Kristoph walked out of his hiding place, holding a digital camera and watching them leave in the distance. Instead of going to Subway, he had circled back around the park and settled in a clump of trees about 75 yards away from the Poroshit. Now he had all the evidence he needed to blackmail them.

The End of Chapter 2