The Matriarchy

One summer, in a quiet and undemanding fashion, women rose up against men and took over the world. Men were suppressed in a single bloodless coup. No longer were women scullery maids, sexual objects or ideals of domesticism. They wore power suits, they earned an equal, if not higher pay than men. They took control.

For a time, things ran smoothly, as if nothing had changed. A penchant for order and pleasantries transformed the greatest revolution in history into a non- event, something not mentioned during polite conversation.The change in power was glossed over as smoothly as if the world had been change with a canister of Pledge wood polish.

 Disarmed by the subtle power change, the men could do nothing but to accept their second class citizenship. There was no violence, no atrocity to respond to, even when they began to fold their own underpants and to cook their own meals.

This was until the silent other side of the female pysche came into play and destroyed the previous air of nicety and graciousness. Paranoia was first to hit the new female world leader- who became convinced that her colleagues were scheming to bring her down, an unsettled air fell upon the world of womanhood. This was followed by a descent into bitchiness among women of all ranks and race. It became impossible for a woman to speak face to face with another without a catty remark slipping subtly into conversation or for one female to degrade another behind her back.The evolution of two facedness fromm girls bathroom and into politics grew into violence, the sheen of civilisation fading to reveal a primal and unmerciless instinct once concealed by Rimmel Matte Mouse and Maybelline New York.

The men stood aside patiently, perusing issues of 'Playboy' which had escaped the Great Top Shelf Purges. Now they were replaced with images of men reclining gracefully over motorcars, honed muscles gleaming (it was enough to make one feel slightly inadequate, to be confronted with another man's grossly enlarged 'equipment' men would remark euphemistically).

When, finally riots broke out in the streets over such devastating political issues, such as who had called who a 'skank bitch' in high office men were happy to stride in with batons and bludgeons and truncheons and beat the women back into quiet submission.

Revolution having been overturned men burned their boxers, 'Playboy' magazine was re established and wages brought back to rights. The familiar attitude of male chauvinism returned and order was brought once again to the world.